VENZIALE

Achieved liftoff at warp speed after spotting a squirrel. Landed safely in the neighbor’s flower bed. 10/10 for style, 2/10 for landing zone.

Led a 47-minute concert for the moon. The moon did not respond. The neighbors did. We consider this a successful first contact mission.

Discovered an entire hidden asteroid field of treats inside the “forbidden cabinet.” Consumed 3 treats before detection. Mission: Mostly successful.

Entered high-speed spin cycle chasing own tail. Achieved temporary black hole status. Nearly created a wormhole in the living room rug.

Bravely defended the house from the terrifying roaring dust beast. Barked at it for 12 minutes straight. The beast eventually retreated into the closet. We are safe… for now.